There is no guarantee on ‘forever’. I learned this in my marriage in an abrupt way last year. We worked thru it but I definitely lost that sense of stability (safety?) that I always felt in my marriage. I learned too that friendships are not forever and it might just be something that you cannot work thru. People change. And the girl that I used sit at Ropers (a very cool, laidback pub in my hometown) with til 2a just chatting about our thoughts – is now a totally different person. Perhaps I am too.
It happens with blog friendships also. It might even be a little worse as you can’t drive over to the friends house to offer a hug in person. You can’t go out to dinner, a movie or even just force them to shop with you while you look for that perfect bra.
A few online friends have come into my life and then out. You wonder – was it something I did? Or was it just not meant to be. A few are fading out now and I’m clueless on how to keep them in my life. Instinct tells me to fight for the friendship but then maybe the online friends are just like the friends I used to see everyday – growing/changing/going in a direction that simply does not include me.
I long for those friendships of my youth. The got-your-back, know-your-secrets friends that love you no matter what. Back in high school I never had that feeling of lonely that I have now. My hubby is a good man and my best friend but I miss my friend type relationships too. Try taking your hubby bra shopping. Its not a good time.
I think thats why I started blogging. Maybe its not one-on-one communicating but I do get to peek into my friends lives on a somewhat daily basis. And my posts are really an attempt at reaching out to said friends.
Maybe I need to grow up. Maybe friends who talk daily, tell you when your ass looks fat in those pants, are brutally honest with you and do the whole bra shop thing do not have an adult version. Or maybe I’m just not the friend I used to be.
Either way…. I miss the friends I’ve lost and am thankful for the ones in my life now.
And this concludes the PMS part of this post.
You are right – there is no guarantee. But there is Hope. And although I know that people change and may grow apart, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have those kinds of friendships again. I miss the friends I’ve lost touch with or grown away from, too. I know that going through life changing events (like marriage stuff) tends to change the way we think about the relationships in our lives – I know that happened to me. I mourned for what I lost. But I’ve found some wonderful souls – you’re one of them! PMS must be going around…..
By: dropstitchknitter on February 15, 2008
at 6:34 pm
I know that women that work together often end up with the same cycle. How the heck does it happen with friends that blog???? Let’s all be crabby together.
And, no, your ass does not look big in those pants.
Luv ya!
By: Laurie on February 15, 2008
at 7:57 pm
Hehh heh – but there are some you want to get rid of – but can’t – they STICK LIKE GLUE! (meaning me)
By: donyale on February 15, 2008
at 10:58 pm
I suspect some folks think going bra shopping when you’re past a “certain age” looks immature. Me — I’d love the chance to go with someone who gets to look farther down the alphabet than “A” and “B”. . .
I’m here.
I’m staying.
By: hand eye crafts on February 16, 2008
at 1:37 am
The one thing I’ve learned is not to clutch to the ones that slip away…if they don’t want to be around then you probably dont want them around. Me? I’m gonna be harder to get rid of than that
By: shan on February 16, 2008
at 1:46 am
The closest I get to Sex in the City (Sex AND the City??) kind of friendship is watching it on TV!!! Some friendships are transient, others last. If only you could tell at the start which were which. I reckon the PMS had put you in a pining mood. I reckon it will pass, and you’ll be full of Hope again!!!
By: 2paw on February 16, 2008
at 11:28 am