I should post.  Really.  I know.  But I’m tired.  And boring.  And on vacation.

Oh yeah.  On vacation baby.  Thursday was our 10 year anniversary.  Ten years.  Shocking.  And cool.   Ask me how I spent my ten year anniversary. 

At the doctors. 

It was very romantic.  We (dr foos and me) talked in depth about my feelings.  Like, how my knees feel.  Or how being tired all the time feels.  I got felt up.  One boob and bra on but felt up nonetheless.  Then later I was whisked away to an x-ray table where I learned to wear a skirt for my next x-rays or at least remember not to wear the turquoise undies with the candy cane applique on the front. 

Very romantic.

My labs came back and it appears my hemo count is ridiculously low.  No one knows why.   Dr F. said it was comparable to the blood lost by a gunshot to the gut……. several times.  This is not new information to me.  Same thing happened last June.  However this time Dr F put the fear of God into my brain.  She said one of the scariest things I’ve ever heard.  To quote “Roxanne, this is serious.  If this continues you will not last another year.  Your heart is working double time to generate the missing oxygen the blood loss causes and will simply give out or you will go into congestive heart failure”. 

Consider my ass paying attention.  Anyhoo, I’m scheduled for a bunch of tests and procedures next week that I don’t even want to think about.  Whats even more difficult for me is talking about it.  I kind of blow it off to the three people I’ve told.  You know, no big deal.  I ain’t afraid of no stinkin’ hemo count.  I’ll just take more iron pills.  I’ll just eat more red meat.  No biggie.

Truth is I’m terrified.  Other than the time I stole my sisters car and she came to kill me - I’ve never really thought about death.  Not my own at least.  And yeah, my sister did want to kill me.  Sorry Cat - I called you out on my blog.   Is there a proper way to deal with something you pretty much have no control over?  I mean, is it good to explain it to people as a way of explaining why I have not been myself for the last year?  Why I’ve been distant, forgetful and probably appearing to be flat out lazy.  Or do I just say screw it - and know that the friends/family that stuck around thru my weirdness are really the only ones that matter?

I’m going with the ’screw it’ attitude. 

Cuz thats how I roll, man.

In other news I finished this.

Which I love.  Used sock yarn and I’m digging the way the colors came out.  I started another one immediately in red/black/gray.  I also am giddy with this new yarn, well its not new to the world but new to me.  Great Adirondack Sierra.  Drool.

 

What…. should I do with this 600 yards???

Nothing pisses me off more than people who just don’t know how to drive. 

Except people who don’t know how to park. 

Dear Lady (who obviously does not know how to park) in The Gray Van.  My hubby would not let me leave a nasty note on your windshield.  And I don’t think you even registered the nasty look I gave you when you made it back to your illegally parked van.  My hubby just loved loved loved crawling his 250lb body across the front bucket seats (with a divider) of our car simply because there was not enough room to open the door and hop into the drivers side due to your parking.

You suck. 

Why do people do this?  Lets not pretend like she just didnt know.  You know.  And all it takes is a simple backing out and forward again.  Its not difficult. 

**********

Vent done. 

I’m off to do the charity walk (thanks ladies - the family told us about you - thank you so much!!)!  Its three miles.  Holy.  I’m more of a 300 feet kind of girl.  But I got new magic sneaks that will surely carry me most of the way. 

Denial.  Its my friend. 

If I live.  I’ll have pictures.  If not please remember to vote for Joshua for KH (knitters hunk, a contest of Kim @ handeyecrafts.wordpress Emily!) here in a couple months. 

One of the many reasons I wish I had more women friends.

I am going to have to drag my husband to see this.  Kicking and screaming.  He will not appreciate the relationship between Big & Carie.  He will deep sigh when the women talk about girl related stuff.   He will not blink during any risque scene.   Someone will cheat and he will pass judgement immediately.  Someone will cry and he will roll his eyes.   He will be elbow and neck deep into his buttered popcorn crunching away oblivious of the special scene playing at that moment.

We will leave.  I usually have one of three reactions to any movie I see in a theater. 

1.)  I’m pissy, it sucked.  I wasted probably $50 on that crap?  (’I Am Legend’ would be my last tirade) (yes Shannon, I still think you are on crack)

2.)  I absolutely loved it, didnt you? 

3.)  Eh.  It was ok.  I would of rather waited for it to come out on PPV.

My reaction hopefully will be #2.  His reaction will no doubt be #3.  No war battles.  Noone was shot, stabbed, plunged to their death off a cliff or eaten by a giant mutated creature.  I can only hope for boobage shots which will take his mind off the loss of the sorely missed kung fu scenes. 

Maybe I should gather all my online friends and we all meet in one city to see this movie eh?

I’ve been consuming books like a fiction starved lunatic.  Truth is I go thru phases with reading.  Its a feast or famine thing.  I will go a month with absolutely no desire to even crack open a book, then months of taking in everything I can get.

Thinking about this I realize that this is similar to my life in other ways.   But thats a story I’ll save for Dr Phil. 

Right now I’m reading Harlen Coben - The Woods.

My first read with this author and I’m not sure about him.  I’m maybe halfway thru the book, should finish it tonight.  I’m hoping I enjoy the read as he has a ton of other books I can dive into.  Anyone else read any of his work?

Just finished this.

And thats really all I have to say about this particular book. Although it was an quick read.  Probably not recommended.  But I’ll send you the paperback if you want to try it!

I also just finished John Grisham’s - The Innocent Man.  Which I found to be a really good read.  Shocking, perhaps a little one-sided on opinion of the author but really informative about a topic on which I was clueless.   Recommend. 

I also just bought a slew of Dean Koontz novels.  I heart him but he has been a little stale lately.  Just bought this, this and this. 

Most unlike me is the novel by late night talk show host, Craig Ferguson - Between The Bridge & The River.  Its fiction and when I heard about - I had to try it.  I seem to have a little Ferguson crush going on right now, we will see if this book squashes that.

Who are your favorite authors?  Are you diverse in your reading or do you go for one particular area, ie:  suspense, romance, biography, yada?

Its a word.  Blogfunk.  Its a medical condition too.  Maybe yet to be written up in a medical journal or Websters but very real.   And I don’t think I’m the only one currently suffering from the funk. 

Blogfunk that is.  Other funk will be cured with my shower here shortly.  Hold the applause.

Not sure where the blogfunk started.  I think its been going on for a while though.  I find myself unmotivated to write here but I still obsessively read all my peeps blogs.   I’m unmotivated with other things too. 

Brace yourself.  Sit down.  Have the valium at hand with a strong shot of whatever your shotstuff (also a word) is.

I’ve lost my knit mojo.  I know.  Oh the horror.   This comes after a string of rash yarn purchases of course.  Maybe I have yarn guilt.  The crochet mojo is even on hiatus.  I have a million and five things I’m wanting to make but it seems all the ideas that normally fly thru my head are gone.  And its those very ideas that motivate me to knit/crochet/create.  A creativity labotomy has occurred.

I find myself interested in lame ass television, sleeping, eating and thats about it.  Spring is here - I should be excited about opening the pool, putting away the winter coats and bringing out the flip flops, opening the windows, summer vacations and such.  

Its gotta be the stupid overnight shift that I’m now working.  Or a midlife crisis.  Or both.  Maybe its the boobage issue from the recent bathing suit situation. 

I don’t know.  I do know I miss the desire to bring out the sticks.  I miss the ideas flowing around inside my head while I knit.  This scarf, this yarn with that cable pattern.  This sweater, those sleeves with that yarn.  

When one has lost their knit mojo, suffers from extreme blog funk & lack of boobage - what to do?

Chris is my hubby’s best friend.  He is the nicest, kindest, funniest guy you will ever meet.  He works hard to support a big family, never complains and is a huge KU fan.  I understand the latter part of that sentence might not be a plus for some of you - but if you met him, you would not care about his college. 

Chris and his wife Jennifer have a daughter (one of three) named Allison who has Cystic Fibrosis.   She sweet, smart, lively and absolutely beautiful.   Unfortunately you don’t get to pick the cards you are dealt and she is battling a disease that no little girl should even have to know about - let alone live with.

The CF Foundation is holding a walk event where basically the family ….walks….and we sponser them.  My hubby is joining them in the walk (I would but work at that time).  90% of all the donations go to support research, care and education. 

If you have a couple bucks - or a couple hundred…. thousand (hey, it could happen!!), take a minute to stop by the websites the family has set up.  Anything would help. 

This is a video page that the family created - it will take your breath away.

This is the link to the CF donation site for this particular family.

As always…. thank you!

To those of you, and you know who you are, that are expecting something from me via snail mail …. brace yourselves - it went out today.  Yes, for some of you I’m two weeks late (donni, chris, shannon, kendra).  For one I’m early (secret).  Its my thing.    I read once where people who are consistently late are seeking control in some form in their life.  Could be true…but not for me.  I’m never, ever late for work or meetings or anything other than mailing stuff.  Maybe I’m seeking control over the postal service. 

I just bought this.  And I don’t know why. 

Thinking about buying this.

Find this interesting.

Mesmerized by him.

Short and sweet today. 

 

Just a reminder that Hugh Laurie - one of the favored to win in the annual KH contest - is scary.

 

The Top Eight Reasons Why I Am Not The Brightest.I start back to school at the exact time I move to another shift at work.

I start back to school (full steam, not half ass like last year) after being away for 20 years thinking my brain would just blow off the dust and start fresh. Hmph.

I resist impulsive yarn purchases for a whole year only to nosedive into the bargain bin @ Webs and come away with enough yarn to last for years. Decades. Centuries.

I have fabulous friends online that I don’t email, call or terrorize nearly enough. Shannon reminded me of this recently.

I work thru a major toothache at a job where I talk the entire time just because I refuse to dip into our savings account. But I have no reservations about dipping into the same account for 10 year anniversary plans.

I’m completely hooked on a website that has live feeds from Big Brother 9.

I buy a plus size bathing suit because its purty forgetting that every plus size bathing suit known to woman is built for chicks with boobage. So it fits my ass and gut but you could fit an pair of bowling balls in the bra cups.

I let a message (at work) to a doctor oncall go thru that a new employee typed stating that the patient “can’t poop”. The doctor was not amused.

Its been a rough week.

But I made it. Almost. I mean, its Thursday. I’m off until Sunday. Hooya.

And tomorrow I am streaking my hair with either purple or pink. Yes. Purple or pink streaks in my forty year old hair.

Want to do it with me? What if I dare you? What if I double dog dare you?

What if I threaten you with a picture of me in the bowling ball suit if you don’t?

You tell me what works, I’ll do it.

Either way…. come on…. lets streak!

Suggestions for pain??  Other than a visit to the dentist!